It’s not a pretty town. It’s dreary and overcast. The sun has no chance of ever shining. Everyone is against you. Everyone is angry, including yourself. Everyone cuts you off, steals your parking spot and pisses you off to the point to where you swear or scream or burst into tears. No one smiles or opens the door for you or wishes you a nice day. And it’s all on purpose.
It’s internal chaos personified.
I lived there for a long time, far too long actually. When I moved out of this town, I promised myself I’d never go back.
I recently took a trip to Crazy Town. I thought I had forgotten the directions and the road map was nowhere to be found. It just felt so nostalgic, so comforting, so familiar, I couldn’t break myself away. And somehow I ended up there, as I had many times before, and always with the same crazy bitch who rides shotgun and controls the stereo - my ego.
I consider myself a strong person. I’m pretty independent when I want to be which I believe is most of the time. But then you factor in the strong Libra traits and I have this extreme desire to share experiences with others – especially good ones.
When I was left out of what seemed like anything fun happening in my circle of friends for Mardi Gras, I turned an opportunity to enjoy the biggest party of the year anyway into the most dramatic thing that has happened to me all year. My ego grabbed a hold of this smallest negative thought and ran with it. She grabbed my keys, hopped in the front seat and pushed my pedal to the metal.
The whole trip there, I could hear myself complaining, bitching, moaning. My inner guide was trying to pump the breaks and snap me out of it but my ego kept turning up the radio with the windows down. Drive faster! Drive Faster! Drive fasterrrrrrrrr!
Then we reached downtown Crazy Town. I had arrived and I lost it. I gave all of my anger and frustration and fuck you attitude to my boyfriend – a poor guy who couldn’t even think of enjoying Mardi Gras with a 5 day call schedule and a service exam two days following. I let him have it.
Reactionary and entitled, I embarrassed myself – all because I chose not to do any of the following:
Out your truth.It’s not going to be easy. Hell, it’s not even going to be pretty but you gotta do it. Better out than in. Once it’s out, the Universe has a chance to take it on and give it back to you without interference from your ego. Write it down. Talk it out. You can even become an observer of your ego. Call it out! Tell it to hush!
Choose love.Your ego can only exist in fear. Any negative thoughts were not created in love. Keep telling yourself that. And this includes complaining which is just negativity being validated to others. Why put that burden on someone else?
Get physical.Getting up and moving – running, dancing, yoga, whatever – helps you clear blocks that aren’t allowing you to get in touch with your inner guide.
Mediate.Meditation doesn’t have to be an all-out, pillow-sitting, music-playing, hour-long session. You can focus on simply breathing and grounding yourself no matter where you are. Even try our Clutch Trick to restore energetic balance right away.
After doing all of these this morning, I have safely returned back to New Orleans without any passengers where, although the sun isn't shining, I can at least see the light!! And there's one more thing I can keep in my rearview mirror.
Now, it's time to write someone an apology...